


Lonely

by RoseArcaneum



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Demisexual Essek Thelyss, First Kiss, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Magic Used For Sex, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Spoilers, Spoilers up to C2E123, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:28:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseArcaneum/pseuds/RoseArcaneum
Summary: Essek has been lonely without the Mighty Nein, without Caleb. When they ask for his aid he offers it willingly. Can a late-night conversation lead to more?Or.Demisexual Essek's first attraction, first kiss, and first time.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> See end of work for Zemnian / German translations.

After the fight with the Tomb Takers, the Mighty Nein finally arrive at the Vurmas outpost just before dawn. Jester has no magic left in her to send to Essek, to let him know they'd arrived and needed help.

They walk up to the gates where two drow stand guard.

The guards immediately hold up their weapons upon seeing the Nein. "Halt! Who are you? Declare yourselves at once!"

Fjord steps forward. "We are the Mighty Nein, heroes of the Dynasty. Your shadowhand, Essek Thelyss invited us. We sent our companion, Dagen ahead of us."

One guard nods to the other who rushes off to confirm this. The other does not lower her weapon. The Mighty Nein huddle together and wait.

After a few moments, the other guard returns, followed by Essek who rushes over to them.

"Essek!" Jester rushes forward to give him a bear hug. He pats her on the back.

"Essek," Caleb greets him. "we do not know if we are being followed. If we are- They are extremely powerful. Lucien has powers far greater than our own. He can render us," He gestures between the two of them. "helpless with a glance. Literally a glance Essek. He is evil and he could be coming after us. We know too much and have something he wants. I don't want to put you at risk but we nearly all died last night. And traveled through the night to get here." Caleb takes a breath.

Essek goes to put a hand on Caleb's shoulder to begin reassuring him but Caleb flinches. So, he withdraws his hand quite concerned. "Come we can speak more on this inside where it is at the very least not snowing. This way."

Essek turns and leads them through the outpost's yard over to the largest building. Once inside all of the Nein let out a breath they had been holding all night. Essek leads them through the building to an empty mess hall

"Thank you, Essek. You did not have to offer us shelter. We appreciate it." Caduceus gives a small smile.

Essek returns the smile but it appears more of a grimace. "Of course I did. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't. I value our friendship and that cannot be had if you are all dead and frozen on the tundra."

Beauregard shrugs. "True."

"Come, sit." Essek offers them all chairs. "Now tell me about this evil that is hunting you."

They recount what they had been doing in Eiselcross, what happened to Vess DeRogna. They tell him about the Tomb Takers and traveling with them. They tell him about the threshold crests and how one of the Tomb Takers stole it from them and how they stole the other one from them. How Caleb and Beau read the book and had a dream of the Somnouvem and were marked with the eye which they both show him.

_ So that explains the flinch _ . Thought Essek.

Then finally, they tell him about the near-fatal fight and how they just barely managed to escape.

Essek had not quite managed to keep his jaw from dropping by the end of their tale. "My, that is quite a lot. From what you tell me you may not be completely safe even here. But, you are much safer here than out there. We will do all we can to protect you. I will do all I can."

"Thank you, friend. Is there a place we might sleep?" Caleb asks, looking very worn out and tired. Yasha is falling asleep in her chair.

"I am afraid I do not have the energy to put up the tower. But if there is a room large enough for all of us we will sleep in the dome."

"Of course, that will have to be my office. I can move the desk. Come let me show you. I am very curious about this tower you mentioned."

" _ Ja  _ it is something I've come up with since we last saw you. I will show it to you tonight after we have rested."

"I look forward to it." Essek's smile is more genuine than his earlier grimace. 

He leads them into his office, a room with a desk on one end with a chair on one side and two on the other. On the other end is a bare table with two more chairs. With a wave of Essek's hand, the table flies over to flip itself and rest upon the desk. The chairs stack in the corner.

"I will let my guards know what to look for and I myself will stand guard in here. Nothing will escape me." Essek's stern look levels into something softer. "Now rest."

Caleb takes the glass bead out of his pocket and eleven minutes later the dome appears in the center of the room. Relieved the mighty Nein all pile in. They all lay down and within a minute most of them are asleep. Beau and Caleb seem reluctant, but eventually, they too fall asleep.

Patiently Essek floats in the corner of the room, keeping an eye on the dome.

A few hours pass before suddenly Beau and Caleb shoot up at the same time, gasping. Essek floats over to see what's wrong.

"Where is it?" Beauregard sounds frantic. Caleb points to her shoulder where a new red eye has appeared. "Where's yours?" 

Caleb starts patting himself down in seemingly random yet very specific locations. Finally, he checks the back of his neck and grimaces. "Here, it is here."

His shoulders slump and he looks up at Beauregard. "We may as well go back to sleep and deal with this later  _ ja _ ?"

"Yeah. Yeah okay." Beau lays back down. Caleb follows soon after and Essek floats back to his corner, his mind racing.

It is late afternoon by the time they are rested enough to rouse themselves. The dome had vanished a few minutes ago and the cold must be seeping back into their bones. 

Essek floats over. "I have just confirmed that my guards saw nothing today. And that they are still alive to report."

"Thank you Essek." Fjord stretches and yawns. 

"If you are hungry-" Essek starts.

Jester interrupts him. "Oh don't worry about food. Caleb's got it covered." She winks at him.

Essek raises an eyebrow. "Very well. I suppose this is part of this tower you mentioned earlier?"

Caleb blushes " _ Ja _ , I am very excited to show you."

Essek smiles "I am very excited to see it."

Caleb pulls out his wand and takes a minute before, at his gesture, a doorway appears. 

Jester claps and bounces a bit. "Oooh, Essek! You're going to love it!" Then she rushes through the doorway. They all follow suit with Caleb and Essek stepping through last. 

When Essek steps through that doorway his eyes light up. It's absolutely magnificent. And Caleb had learned this all on his own.

"Caleb, this is wonderful."

Caleb blushes at the compliment. "Let me show you around." He walks to the center of the floor and motions for Essek to join him. He does so.

"Now all you have to do is think up and you will levitate. It only works in the central column but everyone can do it."

Essek rises quickly and Caleb floats to catch up. Caleb gives him an in-depth tour of the shared spaces, going enthusiastically into arcane theory. Essek follows every word, thoroughly impressed by Caleb's work. The younger wizard buzzes with excitement at finally getting to share with someone who understands beyond pretty, or functional.

Finally, Caleb leads him down to the dining area where the rest of the Nein have set up the tables and placed their orders with the cats. Essek loves the cats but is trying to be stoic about it. He is the shadowhand, he cannot coo over these ethereal fey creatures like Jester is. That would be embarrassing! But, he muses, if he were to do something embarrassing, he would rather do it here in front of his friends.

He holds out a hand for one of the cats. It butts its head into his hand and begins to purr.

"Minna likes you." Caleb is smiling at Essek. 

Jester perks up. "Yes, they all have names and you can cuddle them as much as you want!"

"Good to know, thank you." Essek chuckles.

The food arrives and they all turn to it. They eat in silence, still exhausted even after sleeping for 8 hours. 

"Essek and I will take the first watch. You all get some more rest." Caleb looks sternly around the table.

"I will take part in the fourth watch as well. I only need a small amount of rest." Essek adds.

"Alright," Caduceus stands and gestures towards Veth. "Veth and I can take second watch."

Fjord stands up to leave as well. "Jester and I will take third." 

Beau stares at Essek, contemplating, then speaks. "I'll join you for that last watch." Essek nods. 

"Goodnight Caleb. Think we'll have synced up dreams if we don't sleep at the same time?"

Caleb shrugs.

Beau continues. "Same room all together again?"

There is a chorus of yeahs and yeses and everyone makes their way to the central column to rise to the floor above. Leaving Caleb and Essek alone.

Essek leans back in his chair. "I am thoroughly impressed with your tower Caleb. You have a good eye. It is an excellent wizard's tower and clearly a love letter to your friends."

Caleb blushes at this. " _ Danke _ , I suppose that is true. I wanted to care for my friends." He pauses, then looks down. "I was so scared yesterday Essek. I truly thought we were all going to die. And you, I thought I would die without seeing you again. That kept popping into my mind during the battle. That we would die out in the tundra and you would never find us."

Essek places a hand on Caleb's knee. "You are here now. I am here now. We will figure this out together."

"Thank you."

"Have there been any other, perhaps happier developments since I last saw you all?"

"Oh, yes there have been a couple. Well, two couples to be exact."

"Oh?"

"Yasha and Beauregard are about to go on their first date. And Fjord kissed Jester when the battle was done. It's starting to feel just a little lonely." He sighs.

Essek frowns. "I didn't know what lonely felt like until you all came along. I have never missed anyone as badly as I missed you all. I missed you." He looks up at Caleb. "You know though, I never really understood people's desire to pair off. It just didn't make sense to me."

"You should talk to Caduceus, I believe he feels similarly."

"Well, it makes more sense now." 

"Oh?" 

"Caleb, I- Can I tell you something? Will you still be my friend after-" 

"Essek- I am still your friend now,  _ ja _ ?" 

"Yes." He hesitates, draws in a deep breath, and says "Caleb, I never understood it until you came along. Not the Nein. You. I just- I want to spend time with you and grow close to you and be close to you. When you kissed me on that ship I- Caleb I've never wanted to kiss anyone before. But you- When you did that I  _ wanted _ for the first time." He looks down at his hands embarrassed to find himself rambling.

Caleb reaches over and takes his hand. "Essek. I would very much like to kiss you as well. May I?" 

Essek looks up wide-eyed at Caleb and nods. Caleb keeps his hand in Essek's and lays the other on his cheek, leans in, and gently presses his lips to Essek's. Essek sighs and presses back. They break apart but only far enough to lean their foreheads together. 

Caleb smiles. "Well? What do you think? Is that an experiment worth repeating?"

Essek chuckles and doesn't respond. He simply leans in again and kisses Caleb with a bit more heat. Caleb slides his hand down Essek's neck, brushing his thumb along his jaw. He brings their hands up and presses Essek's hand to his chest. 

"Can you feel what you do to me?"

Caleb's heart is racing beneath his palm. "Yes." Essek lays his hand over the one on his pulse point. "You must be able to feel the same.

"Yes." 

They move back into each other as though Essek had manipulated the gravity around them, though he had no need to. Caleb's tongue swipes over Essek's lips gently asking. Essek parts his lips allowing him in. 

Caleb makes a soft noise and pulls back. "Perhaps we should move this elsewhere? I mean we don't have to continue or go any further than you want to but I fear I may wake someone if we do. But we can stop now if you like-"

Essek puts a finger to Caleb's lips quieting him. He stands and offers a hand to Caleb who takes it, standing as well. Essek looks around for a moment before Caleb lays a hand on Essek's back to guide him to the center of the tower where they float up to the level with Caleb's room. He leads Essek over to it opening the door for him. Essek walks through and as soon as the door shuts behind Caleb, Essek slams him into it. 

Almost in a frenzy, he crowds him up against the door kissing him, hands roaming.

Caleb moans. He pulls back as far as he is able, hands on Essek's shoulders. "How- How far do you want this to go? I need to know now or I may do something I'll regret."

Essek pauses for a moment to really think. "I'm not entirely sure. I- well I don't have the experience to know what I like and don't like. I just know I would like to touch you and I want you to touch me. I- well. I suppose I would like to fool around, but perhaps not uh, full penetration."

"We can do that." Caleb releases Essek's shoulders and moves his hands to his waist pulling him close. " _ Ja _ we can do that." Caleb spins so that Essek is now the one pinned to the door.

Caleb slowly begins kissing down Essek's neck, sucking gently as he goes. When he gets to the shoulder he pulls back Essek's collar and bites.

Now it's Essek's turn to moan. He is panting heavily and clutching at Caleb's shoulders.

Caleb smiles into his neck. "Do you like that?"

"Yes, by the Light yes." Essek grabs Caleb's waist and pulls him closer, grinding their hips together. They both moan.

Caleb leans back and pulls his shirt off then tugs up the hem of Essek's stripping his off as well. He leans back in, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Essek all but whimpers. Caleb worries at it with his teeth. 

Essek's head hits the door. "Caleb. Pants. We need to get them off. Now." 

Caleb moves to obey, leaving Essek to strip off his too. Now naked, Caleb gently presses Essek to the door and drops to his knees, his hands dragging down his torso. Now face to face with Essek's erection Caleb lays an open-mouthed kiss on it. 

Essek is trembling. His hand flies to his mouth. "Caleb- Please-"

Caleb reaches up to pull his hand down. "Do not worry. They will not be able to hear us in here. Let me hear you."

"Okay."

Caleb resumes. He kisses and bites at Essek's hip before he lays more open-mouthed kisses along Essek's length down to the base then licks back up to suck on the tip. Essek lets out a breath he'd been holding on a heavy sigh as Caleb takes more of him into his mouth.

"Fuck, Caleb-"

Caleb hums, the vibrations shoot up Essek's core like lightning. He tries to stop himself from thrusting into Caleb's mouth but Caleb grabs his ass and tugs, encouraging him to do so. So he does. He goes slowly so as not to choke him, but thrusts into Caleb's mouth. Caleb takes him all in. As Essek pulls back out Caleb sucks. He thrusts back in and again Caleb increases suction on the way out. 

After a few moments of this Caleb takes Essek's hand and threads it through his hair. Essek takes the hint and pulls Caleb off. Caleb pants and tries to return to his activity, but Essek holds firm. Just for a moment, before Essek pushes back into Caleb's mouth and shoves his head further onto his cock.

Caleb is moaning constantly now and Essek is getting close. He doesn't want things to be over so quickly so he pulls Caleb off.

"My turn. Let's go to the bed." 

Caleb stands, his knees cracking. They walk over to the bed where Caleb sits up against the headboard. Essek crawls up to kneel between his legs to kiss him some more before sinking down to return the favor.

He grabs hold of Caleb and gives him a couple of experimental strokes before kissing the tip. Caleb threads his hands in the longer but still short top of Essek's hair. Not pulling or pushing, just encouraging. 

Essek mimics what Caleb did earlier. He places a kiss on the tip then sucks on it gently.

Caleb groans. "Just take it slow  _ Schatz _ . No need to push yourself. I am already enjoying everything you are doing."

Essek moans at the praise and takes more of Caleb into his mouth. He finds that he can take a fair amount before his reflexes stop him so he takes his hand and strokes what he cannot fit in his mouth. He bobs his head sucking with a constant pressure that is driving Caleb wild.

Caleb for his part is quite vocal about his pleasure and Essek can't get enough. He takes his free hand and runs it over Caleb's thigh.

"Essek- Essek stop. I'm going to-"

Essek pulls off.

"Come here." Caleb pulls Essek up so that he is straddling his thighs and sitting in his lap, their hips together. Caleb circles his hand around both of them and strokes. Essek lets out a low groan.

"Like that?" Caleb smirks

"Yes. Do it again."

Caleb does. Essek is shaking with arousal now. Caleb continues to work them both and grabs Essek's ass with his free hand. The hand holding their cocks stills and Essek whines. But Caleb uses his grip on his ass to thrust Essek's hips forward into his hand.

"Fuck my hand,  _ Liebe. _ " Caleb loosens his grip a little to allow him a greater range of movement.

Essek places his hands on Caleb's shoulders and thrusts. It's awkward at first, but his motions smooth out and soon he's doing just as Caleb asked. "Tighter Caleb, please."

Caleb tightens his grip. "Like that?"

"Yes." Essek moans and his thrusting grows more erratic. "Caleb, I'm close."

"Good, good. Come for me." Caleb leans forward, bites down on his shoulder, and sucks.

With a shout, Essek is coming over both of them and Caleb's fist. Caleb releases himself and works Essek through his orgasm, kissing at the shoulder he bit.

"So good for me  _ Liebling _ , how was that?"

"Amazing, but we're not finished yet." Essek climbs out of Caleb's lap to settle between his thighs once more.

Seeing Essek's intention Caleb flushes even more than he already had. "Uh- you may want to-" he gestures a vague imitation of prestidigitation. "That's a flavor most need to get used to."

Essek looks down at Caleb's come covered erection. "Ah. I look forward to getting used to it with you, though perhaps not tonight." he performs the short somatic movements of the spell, and the come vanishes. "There we go."

He takes Caleb into his mouth once more. Caleb's breath is coming faster now, in between moans. Essek pulls to the tip and swirls his tongue around it. He starts bobbing his head faster and faster.

"Essek,  _ Liebe _ , I am close."

With one final bit of suction Essek pulls off and with a few pumps of his hand and a twist of his wrist Caleb's back arches up and he comes over Essek's fist.

Caleb tugs on Essek's arm and whines. Essek follows and moves up to straddle him once more. This kiss is less fiery but no less intense. It's sweet and when they break away from each other it is only for Essek to lay on Caleb's chest.

"Mm Essek? Can you?" Caleb motions to their come covered bodies again. 

"Ah, yes." Essek casts prestidigitation again and the come and sweat disappear.

"Thank you." Caleb presses his face to Essek's hair. "Well, what did you think?"

Essek smirks. "Definitely an experiment worth repeating." He wraps his arms around Caleb's waist and sighs. "Definitely worth repeating."

After a few minutes cooling down in each other's embrace, Caleb finally speaks up. "I think we should get back to our watch."

Essek shoots up and curses. "I forgot about that! Yes, we should. One more though." He leans in and steals one last kiss from Caleb's lips. 

Caleb is reluctant to let him go, chases his lips when he pulls away. "We will do this again soon  _ ja _ ?"

"Yes. We will figure everything out and we will do this again. Though perhaps not on watch."

"Probably for the best." Caleb smiles at him. "Let's get dressed and go back down."

Essek nods and gets up to follow his directions. Caleb follows suit. 

Together they descend back to the dining area where they finish up the small amount of time left in their watch. Then together they go to wake Caduceus.

Caduceus rouses quietly, takes in their appearances, and smiles. He says nothing though and goes to wake up Veth. Caleb and Essek look at each other. They are both blushing, having picked up on the firbolg's perception. Caleb shrugs, lays down near the pile of his friends, and motions for Essek to join him. 

Essek lays down next to Caleb a little stiffly, but when Caleb wraps an arm around his waist he lets out a breath and relaxes. Slowly but surely he finds himself slipping into his trance, aided by the soft sounds of Caleb breathing next to him. 

His last thoughts before he trances are of Caleb's mouth, his warmth, and how he should just enjoy this short moment. They will figure some or all of this out in the morning.

~~~

Zemnian / German Translations

Ja - Yes

Danke - Thanks

Schatz - Treasure

Libe - Love

Liebling - Darling

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! As always please keep feedback positive or constructive. Both are welcome, though I would actually love a little bit of (gentle) constructive feedback!


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